Car Conversations

As I have mentioned before, the girls' school is about 20 minutes away from our home. In the mornings that time is filled listening to their favorite music which, on good days, consists of Sheryl Crow and The Black Eyed Peas and on bad days, consists of Miley Cirus and Kidz Bop. The ride home from school, when everyone is tired, is usually filled with verbal spats, a few tears and endless questions. I try to use the time to impart sound parental advice such as don't talk to strangers and don't do drugs to which I'm met with questions about where the strangers live and what are drugs? Every now and then I am thrown a question I can't figure out how to answer and the path that leads down never ceases to amaze me.

"Mom, what did the dinosaurs do when they were here?" Ryan asks.

"Um, they just walked around and ate."

"They didn't eat people though, did they mom?" asks Sam.

"No, most ate plants."

"What did the ground do when they walked on it?"

"What did the ground do? Um, nothing. It shook I guess and they left footprints that people find now." I said trying to sound knowledgeable.

"Are dinosaurs real?" Sam wonders. She rightly thinks of them like monsters or dragons.

"They used to be, way before you were born, but not anymore." I answer.

"Mom, where was I when you were in your mommy's tummy?" asks Ryan

"Oh, gee, let's see. You weren't here." I stammer. Not sure I like where this is going

"WHERE. WAS. I?" she asks again, more adamantly.

"Ryan, I'm trying to answer but it's hard..."

"Just tell me!"

"I'm trying. It's hard to explain. You weren't made yet. You didn't get made until after daddy and I got married and decided to have kids." I respond. Please let an ambulance go by now or something to distract their attention. Please.

"You didn't want to be a tid (kid) any more mom?" asks Sam.

"I had already been a kid and you can't go back. So when daddy and I fell in love, we wanted to have kids."

"So you had us?" says Ryan.

"Yes."

"How did you fall in love with daddy?" Ryan asks, not ready to give up yet.

"Well, we met at work and we'd go out with friends and I thought he was smart and funny and I guess he liked me so we fell in love and got married." Holy moly, are we at home yet? Where's that ambulance?

"I want to be a mom now," announces Ryan.

"I want to be a baby," counters Sam.

"I want a drink," I whisper as we pull into the garage.